Fun Things to Try
At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "in box"
Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."
As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
Order diet water with a serious face whenever you go out to eat.
Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
Sing along at the opera.
Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, rock bottom.
When the money comes out the atm, scream "I won! I won!"
When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"
Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
12 comments:
Great stuff.
Do you know what I like to do for giggles? Whenever there is any kind of a sign up sheet in the church, I try to have fun with it.
For example, the Trustees recently posted a sign up sheet for the Spring Work Day. I put my name (Art Vandelay). My phone number (867-5309). And my suggested contribution to the work day ("I'm afraid of power tools and cleaning supplies, but I would be willing to make the Tang and hand out moist towelettes. Beyond this, perhaps I could shave the backs of individual Trustees, so that they might become more aerodynamically effecient.")
Can you guess the first thing I heard that day when I entered the church lobby?
"Who's Art Vandelay? Is he a member here?"
Whenever telemarketers call the house, I confuse them by asking if, after their sales pitch,they would be willing to take the time to hear about the benefits of the life insurance that I sell. They usually hang up.
Good Read!
There was nothing better than when I worked for the Turnpike and I would travel I-70 every morning. As cars would fly by, they would see my "Keystone" badge on my arm, slam on their brakes and follow me all the way to New Stanton!!
If only I had that badge! Ugh...
Bless you brother,
Jeff S.
Good stories...keep 'em comin!
Funny! Thanks for the laughs today!
(By the way, I'm boring... I follow the rules to a fault, like just the other day when we were going into Walmart and I walked passed the "Exit" door that slid open for me so I could go in the "Enter" door... how sad is that?)
On the drop off sheet for the preschool one morning under "special needs" I told them that my daughter needed a full workup, frontal labodamy, and a CT Scan. At the end of the day when I picked them up, I asked them if they got the results back. There response was, "Oh, we didn't even see taht. So much for special needs - good thing my child didn't need real medicine!
But remember, when the phone rings, say 'Vandelay Industries'.
Hey Greg...
In the immortal words of Sir Allister Bannister...
"I'd rather have a bottle in front of me than a frontal lobotomy!"
I've actually been an architect for Vandelay Industries.
The latex business can be so rewarding!
For church council meetings, I always sign in, in addition to myself, Luke Skywalker or Eli Whitney. Its taken a year for someone to ask about it.
Thanks man for keeping me laughing...in the midst of a crazy week...now its off to the zoo with a one year old...I should have some stories after that. Have a great weekend and awesome Sunday. Grace and Peace, John
Thanks for giving us some good laughs...your secret is safe with me, Art!
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