FWIW
I am back from vacation. We had a good time...it was nice to get away. We spent 4 days helping Carla's parents finish their moving process, then we goofed off for a few days. We ended up in Erie for a few days and had a great time.
I am "back to work" now and I am doing some soul-searching. Vacations do that to me, and I think it is good. I saw an article about the senseless killing of Gorillas in DRC, very close to where I used to live as a Peace Corps Volunteer. It hit me hard and started me thinking about what is truly important. I read my friend Randy's blog entry which just blew me away and convicted me to further introspection. I read a few articles in REV magazine which made me realize how much leadership has become an idol of the pastorate. I realized how little time I spend in working on my own relationship with Jesus...and how much time I spend trying to be a good pastor. And I've come to the same conclusion as Solomon...it is chasing after the wind.
I need to step back and make some big changes. I need to get serious about my relationship with God. I need to covet being a Christian, instead of coveting being a pastor. I need to start being honest with God, honest with myself, and honest with those closest to me about who I am, who I am not, what I can really give in life, and what I really need.
So I started reading some OT prophets...just for me. Here is the hope I claim based on the warnings God has given to me:
Zephaniah 3:9-13
9 "Then will I purify the lips of the peoples, that all of them may call on the name of the LORD and serve him shoulder to shoulder. 10 From beyond the rivers of Cush my worshipers, my scattered people, will bring me offerings. 11 On that day you will not be put to shame for all the wrongs you have done to me, because I will remove from this city those who rejoice in their pride. Never again will you be haughty on my holy hill. 12 But I will leave within you the meek and humble, who trust in the name of the LORD. 13 The remnant of Israel will do no wrong; they will speak no lies, nor will deceit be found in their mouths. They will eat and lie down and no one will make them afraid." (NIV)
4 comments:
Boy, does this post resonate with me. Since our own vacation, I've read very little about leadership or pastoral work, instead working on my own soul ("work out your own salvation", Phil 2:12). I've been reading fiction and comics, personal devotional stuff and "academic theology" just for me. I've also been trying to spend more time in prayer...had some great prayer time just this morning. It's so easy to get caught up in being a pastor and leading ministry that we can forget that our primary vocation is to be disciples, learning and growing ourselves. Good post.
You guys are both awesome!
Last week I had scheduled a "day apart" to be with God, for prayer and visioning. I had to cancel it because I got too busy...AAAHHH!
Good post. Ditto for me!
It's so ironic that we work so hard to help others with their relationship with God that we somehow forget about ourselves. I'm SOOO guilty of this. It's been weeks since I've sat down and spent quality time with God. I bust myself doing the work of the kingdom and don't time to nurture me. Great post, Brett. I leave for vacation Friday and I plan on taking long walks alone on the beach just to reconnect with God.
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