We Interrupt this Regularly Scheduled Report Card Blog...

On the first day of March, how could I fail to pay tribute to the famous  Weekend Update skit of the first SNL season when John Belushi rants about March coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb...at least that's the way it works in the United States...

I tried to find a video clip but could not, so I'm posting the transcript here.  Enjoy!  (BTW, if you know where I can find this video segment online, by all means let me know!)

Chevy Chase:
Last week we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out
like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi,
with a seasonal report.

John Belushi:
Thank you Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March true to form
has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least
that's how March works here in the United States. But did you know that March
behaves differently in other countries? In Norway, for example, March comes
in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus. Or, take the case of Honduras
where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.
Let's compare this to the Maldive Islands where March comes in like a
wildebeest and goes out like an ant. A tiny, little ant about this big.
[holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart]
Unlike the Malay Peninsula where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird
and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is
like a worm-eating fernbird. Or consider the Republic of South Africa where
March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has
a mane, and one doesn't have a mane. Or in certain parts of South America
where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a
giant anaconda. There you can buy land real cheap, you know. And there's a
country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while,
and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a
couple of days it's sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common
house cat.
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Wait wait wait wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it
goes out like a, like a wild dingo. Now, now, and it's not Australia! Now,
now, you'd think it would be Australia, but it's not!
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out
like a tapir. And they don't even know what it means! All right? Now listen,
there are nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes
out like a golden retriever. But that- that's not the weird part! No, no,
the weird part is, is the frog. The frog- The weird part is-
[has seizure and falls off chair]