Man Cave!

Welp my man cave has just taken a few big steps forward to perfection.  Recently, I added a small, dormitory sized refrigerator.   Now this evening, I have added a TV!!!!  So, true story, I'm blogging from my air-conditioned man cave while enjoying a cool beverage and enjoying the evening news.  Good stuff!  Indeed, I am blessed, even if I am bald!  Now, if I just had a urinal....

All By Itself...

So I was walking back from doing a little shopping at the neighborhood grocery store this morning when I noticed these stalks of corn growing out of the side of the little cliff above Brighton Road.  There are some almost ripe ears on them so I may rappel down in a week or two and harvest them, but that isn't the reason that I write.

The curious scene of corn growing in the middle of the city on a side of a cliff got me to thinking about a favorite passage of Scripture.  In Mark 4, Jesus said "This is what the kingdom of God is like. A man scatters seed on the ground. Night and day, whether he sleeps or gets up, the seed sprouts and grows, though he does not know how.  All by itself the soil produces grain—first the stalk, then the head, then the full kernel in the head.  As soon as the grain is ripe, he puts the sickle to it, because the harvest has come."

This just served to remind me of how often we try to do the things we should let God do all the while trying to get Him to do the things that we're supposed to do.  The "all by itself" phrase in Jesus' parable is, in my estimation, His way of saying that the farmer has a role and ought to play it.  But when all is said and done, there are some things only God can do.  We should be doing our stuff, and quit expecting Him to do it.  We should be letting Him do His, and quit trying to do His job.

Now I was going to go on to conjecture what some of "our jobs" and "His jobs" may be, but perhaps I'll wait.  Maybe I'll build on the list that you, faithful readers, provide.  Bring it on!

Feeling Very Blessed, Even if I Am Bald...

So yesterday I got to preach for the first time since I stepped away from Cornerstone.  My friend Jeff St. Clair asked me to fill in at their "contemporary" service and I did so.  I had a great time...I felt very free to share what the Lord placed on my heart and had an absolute blast doing it!

Afterward, this sweet lady started gushing about how much she enjoyed the message and how I was welcome to come preach anytime and yada, yada, yada.  And then she said "do you ever let your hair grow out?"  I swear, I'm not making this up!  The point she was making was that I might be a better preacher if I didn't shave my head...

Now this strange exchange got me to thinking.  I am truly blessed.  I love to preach, but I realize that I love that I'm free from the crosshairs (yes, pun intended) of every pew sitter (or in some cases, chair setters) and their endless need to dictate how I should live my life, right down to my hair.  I realize just how free I feel and how blessed I am to be at this stage of my life as I stare down the corridor of middle age.  (Notice I didn't indicate that I'm there yet!)  Jesus said when He sets us free, we'll be free indeed.  I feel that my life is such a living testimony to that.

I have a wonderful wife...my best friend and such a Godly influence on my life.  I am loving the ministry that God has opened for me at The Pittsburgh Project.  I have not looked back one day since I started there!  We have a gorgeous, just-our-size dream home with wonderful neighbors in a great neighborhood in the coolest city in the world.  We have some great friends, some great ways to pass the time, and a sense of calling that we are living out.  In brief, I'm feeling very blessed, even if I am bald...maybe especially because I am!  Thank you Lord!

Now if we can just decide on a church to call home so I can start to criticize  "my" pastor...

I won!!!

Well I have become both the envy and enemy of my newest neighborhood.  I, hater of gardening and most inept at all things green, have successfully won the "first ripe tomato on the block" unofficial contest.  My prize is pictured here for your enjoyment.  I planted our urban garden on the weekend after Mother's Day and calculated late July as when our "78 day Big Boy" tomato variety would produce its first fruit.  But alas, on this the fifth of July, our first tomato is ready for harvest.  We will have another ripe by the end of the week!

This is much to the chagrin of our dear friend and neighbor, Paul, who has held this coveted title for years.  Another neighbor, Sally, said "I have never known anyone to beat him..."  The problem is that Paul loves to cook and bake and share his creations with us.  Plus our respective dogs Shadrach and TeeBoo are the best of friends and daily playmates.  I was fearful this unseating of a longstanding champion would jeopardize our mutual jocularity, but alas, Paul just delivered two piece of his delicious homemade Blackberry pie.   All is well in Brighton Heights...

Caution: Toys You Play With May Alter Your Life Forever....

So I was having lunch yesterday with a friend who was showing me the plans for the new house he and his wife are building.  It is going to be a very cool house...one story ranch with full finished basement.  The property is awesome and the house is going to be sweet!

But he was relating how difficult it has been at times for his wife to visualize how things will look.  As we talked, it dawned upon me a notion that I had latently thought about but never fully expressed: that men tend to think better spatially because of the toys they play with as children.

Seriously...I played for countless hours in our "dad-made" sandbox with my matchbox cars and Tonka toys.  I developed some serious transportation systems in that sand and in the piles of dirt around our home addition in the early '70's.  I built untold numbers of homes from Lincoln Logs and the set of "Bricks" we had...a precursor to Legos.  And I believe those years of looking down on my imaginary world, literally looking down, taught me to think about things from a bird's perspective.  I believe it allows me to visualize things and imagine things from an aerial perspective better than children who played with dolls (read: GIRLS!).

For what it's worth, that is the unveiling of my long-held view.  Now bring on those sexist retorts!

Kids!

So let me just tell you how much I love working with the kids God has put in my life at The Pittsburgh Project.  My main responsibility is 3rd and 4th graders and we do all kinds of things...games, Bible studies, prayer and worship, tutoring, ecology, performing arts, field trips, and the like.  Good times are to be had by all!!!

But what really trips me up every time is their humor and their love for life.  The other day I was "in the face" of one of my third grade boys trying to reel him into control and scare him into some respect.  While I'm in his face with my voice slightly raised and my face working hard to look serious and stuff, he says "Mr. Brett, did you shave today?  You need to shave...your whiskers are getting long." 

So I'm like trying to keep from laughing and maintain my tough guy stance, but to no avail.  I busted out laughing, and he did too.  Thank you Jesus for the joy you show us in the lives of kids.  Thanks for reminding us that we must become like them to truly experience the kingdom of God...

Sessy!

So on Wednesdays at The Pittsburgh Project, we always have staff meetings.  They start at noon with a brown bag lunch, then some sharing time, then a Bible study and prayer.  I love Wednesdays because I love our times together.

However this week was a real treat.  Our Executive Director (and/or our chaplain-type-person) provided lunch, then brought the ice cream man to our alley and we all got free ice cream!!!  (Lib called it a "sessy," which she says means gift.  None of us never heard the term!)  I got a Heath Ice Cream Bar...yummy indeed.  It was fun as all 50 or so of us lined up like little kids...and it was a blast to see the smiles of childlike joy from each person as they walked back with their favorite frozen treat.  Then we played games in the gameroom...ping pong, air hockey, four-square, fusbol.  It was a great afternoon.

That is one of the many things I am enjoying about the ministry of TPP...that there is a true sense of teamwork and an unforced balance of hard work and playing together.   One feels appreciated there because one IS appreciated there.  My hats off to our TPP leadership, and I continue to serve with joy, with or without the ice cream!!!

Requiem for a Friend

A friend died of cancer this week .  She loved the things that God created for us to enjoy...flowers and plants, animals, and the people in her life.  She loved to laugh and she loved to make others laugh too.  She was a giving soul, and I was blessed to know her, albeit not as well as I would have liked....

Her passing has me down...she was too young and it seems to unfair and so hard for her husband and daughters.  The thought of not being able to be there at her daughters' wedding or being able to move to Florida to fulfill a longtime dream is such a bummer.

In her last days, her husband said to me that some things just don't seem that important in the light of what was happening.  How true...how fleeting life can be and how we seem to focus on the truly unimportant and often ignore the things that mean the most.

So today, in MB's honor, I am going to try all the more to focus on the things that mean the most to me:  My God, my wife, my family, my friends, and my ministry to a lost and hurting world.  Love and obedience...the things that God desires the most...are the things I seek to give today.

Enough Already!!!

S

So I came home tonight and decided to go for groceries...which in and of itself isn't so bad.  It's when you get to the checkout and it is time to find the right "rewards card" (read: gimmick to annoy you) in your wallet.  Of course, Carla has the one I need so they'll look it up...except we've moved like 83 times and changed our phone number like 114 times since we've had the card so they can't find it.  I applied for a new one so I could save 8 bucks...but it took longer to fool around with the rewards card bullcrapola than it did to actually shop for groceries!


And then I need help getting to my car...not because of the groceries.  No, I can handle them alright.  I need help carrying ALL THE FREAKIN' REWARDS CARDS!  Everywhere you shop you have to have a "rewards card." (read: card from hell.)  WHY?  WHY CAN'T WE JUST LOWER THE PRICES WITHOUT A CARD?  

OK, I'm done.  I feel better too.  Now I'm going to work on the addition to our home to store all our rewards cards.

Where's the Joy?!

So as many of you know, I hain't a pastor any more.  So I have this weird experience of having a weekend!  Wow, I could get used to this!  Part of the cool part about a weekend is that you get to go worship in church.  As a pastor, I found it very hard to worship...always thinking about what I was preaching on or what was happening next or what went wrong.  And even on vacation, I would always critique and compare the pastor of the church we would visit...forgive me Lord.

But now, we're kinda looking for a place to put down some roots, or maybe a couple of places to call our church homes!   So on Sunday, we're back at a place we've been to a few times and as the worship service started, I began to weep.   Part of it was tears of joy...I was so caught up in loving on God.  But part of it was tears of sadness...for all those in my life who have never found this joy.  

Even among many Christians we have known, people seem to lack true joy.  And when you're a part of a group of people who have it, you get caught up in it and get bummed for those who don't.   I'm not talking about happiness, you know, at good stuff that happens.  I'm talking about true joy...that peace that transcends our understanding and, quite honestly, all the bad and good stuff in our lives.

At least I'm grateful that we've found a few great churches so far that are oozing with that true joy.  And maybe most of all, that He has led me to The Pittsburgh Project where I am literally surrounded with those kinda peeps everyday!

Free from "social" media...

So this morning I met a great friend for coffee...for like 2 hours.  We met in a quaint little coffee shop just up the road...The Muddy Cup in "downtown" Bellevue.  The coffee was great, the atmosphere was even better, and the conversation was phenomenal.  And it got me to thinking...

Lately, I haven't been on facebook as much.  I have been on twitter even less.  These little e-gadgets are designed to put us in community with one another.  And in a sometimes sad, often inauthentic, way they do.  I believe what these so-called "social media" tend to do is to create a sense of community which really couches the reality of isolation.  

Often, facebook updates are attempts to gain self-pity and to draw attention to oneself.  Twitter, it seems, caters more to the ego.  We tweeters tend to espouse our own intelligence, or worse, to "retweet" the insightful maxims of alleged gurus of a particular field.  And what, at least to me, tends to be the end product?  Isolation.  

And yet a conversation on the porch with Carla, my best friend in the world, is priceless.  It isn't proud, or selfish, or inauthentic in any way.  The chat in the "the farthest thing from Starbucks" coffee shop this morning is tacitly irreplaceable by any alleged "social" media. 

I'm not deleting my facebook page, or shunning twitter for eternity.  But as I find myself less and less attracted to them, I find myself having greater and more inspiring, and yes, more "social," interactions than ever!

The REAL meaning of Easter

So I'm leading worship for the Easter party at The Pittsburgh Project the other day.  I had maybe 30 K-2nd graders in the room at the time and I asked them why we really celebrate Easter.  One little boy raised his hand and said we celebrate Easter 'cause it is Jesus' birthday.  Nice try.

So then another little girl raises her hand and she said "we, um, we celebrate Easter, um, 'cause we celebrate, um, Jesus' recreation from the dead!"  (note that I added the bold and italics.  You can't really do that while you're speaking.)

So for the past week I've been thinking about Easter and how it kinda really is Jesus' recreation from the dead.  He recreated death...so that in Him, we no longer must fear it.  He recreated death...so that in Him, death can be not only and ending of a chapter but the beginning of forever.  He recreated death...so that in Jesus, death is victory instead of victorious.  

I guess He knew what He was talking about when He said that we must become like little children...they're a whole lot smarter than we are sometimes...


Happy Easter, and may you experience a recreation from death!!!

Fit to be Tied

So Mom and Dad came to visit today and at some point Mom says something about how one size 9 shoe by one manufacturer isn't the same as another size 9 shoe of the same manufacturer and how frustrating that can be.  Which reminds me...

So now that Carla is the full time employee in the house and I'm just a part-time bum, I'm doing the lion's share of the housework.  Most of the time, I enjoy it, but let me just get something off my chest.

In this country (the country from which I'm writing is the USA so when I say this country, that's the one I'm talking about.  So many of my readers are from other countries...I don't want there to be any confusion.) we have som'n called the ASTM.  Now that's a bunch of letters meaning that somewhere in a cave or something there are "standards" for stuff.  Like there's a piece of metal or something one inch long.  Like for real.  So if you want to make a tape measure that measures an inch, you compare your inch to the "standard" inch to make sure that the inch you're selling is a real inch, or something.  (Note: this also works for tape measures that are longer than an inch...simply use the same inch and multiply it by the number of inches on your tape measure!)

So I'm thinking the other night as I'm making the bed after doing the laundry, why don't we have an ASTM fitted sheet?  Now just wait, imagine with me what it would be like if a fitted sheet would fit?!  Crazy, eh?  I mean like one fitted sheet doesn't fit one way and another fitted sheet doesn't fit another way and I'm throwing a fit and fit to be tied and all that, but the fitted sheets don't fit.  None of them.  Ever.

So I'm thinking we should have like an ASTM fitted sheet, made out of titanium or something, in a cave or lock box or vault where they control the temperature.  Then when someone wants to make a fitted sheet, they can compare it to the ASTM fitted sheet so it will fit.  Then I won't have to throw a fit, or be fit to be tied...

A Tale of Two Cities

Well, one is a city, and one is anything but!  However, I am concluding that there are lots of similarities between the two. The place on the left is Salix, PA, the little town where I grew up.  The whole zip code of Salix has less people living there than just a few blocks of the area of Pittsburgh where we now live.  And yes, the place on the left is, the Northside of Pittsburgh.  Now that we've lived in Brighton Heights for a few months, I've observed some striking similarities between life in small town America and life in the city.  

One thing that is similar is the fact that people know each other.  In the suburbs, everybody pretty much leaves everybody alone, and you don't really get to know many neighbors.  But in Salix and in Brighton Heights, you know your neighbors.  You talk to them, every time you see them.  You share life a little...the joys and the struggles.  You talk from your back yards or on one another's porches.  The biggest difference is that you don't have yell as much in the city because the houses are so much closer together than in places like Salix.

Another similarity is the use of streets.  In the city and in the small town, you walk and play in the streets.  The obvious exceptions are the main throughways, but the side streets are play places.  I remember our life on "Center Street" in Salix...it was a place to play.  Same on Brandon Road in Pittsburgh.  People walk their dogs on the streets, play ball in the streets, ride their bikes in the streets, and you simply yell "car" in the rare times when someone is driving through the neighborhood.

A third thing that strikes me as similar is the sense of being somewhat self-contained.  Oh sure, there were the trips to the "big city" (a.k.a. Richland...a suburb of Johnstown) when we were kids.  Things like clothes and big groceries and such couldn't be found in Salix.  But you bought your gas, your main staples, got your mail, went to church, did your banking, and got your car fixed right there.  So it seems to be with city neighborhoods.  Oh sure we venture to Target or Walmart or, God forbid, Ross Park Mall when it becomes a necessity.   But we mostly live in our zip code.  We buy our meet, our groceries, go to church, do our banking, and even get our hardware supplies in walking distance from our front door.

There are differences to be sure, but I'm not sure we have felt this "at home" since we left Salix (or New Paris, another quintessential American small town that we love...).  Life in the suburbs, at least for us, has been the odd man out...

Blogger's Block

You're probably wondering why I've been remiss in updating my blog.  The truth is, I have blogger's block.  It's  a fairly serious condition wherein the blogger can't think of anything meaningful to say.   The only known cure is a several month hiatus to the US Virgin Islands.  See ya.

Final Report Card Installment

For those of you tiring of my "report card" series (not the least of which is me...I get bored easily!), I am including here my final "grades."  

•  Don’t worry about opposition…
•  Ignore criticism…
•  Don’t expect immediate results…

I admit I failed a lot on the first.  I think that is perhaps my greatest struggle and subsequent failure in pastoral ministry.  I was too afraid of people opposing me.  In other words, I caved in to the pressure to be a "people pleaser" far too often.  At times, I should have been more bold in my stance and not worrying about those who might oppose me.  If God is for me, who can be against me?

As for the criticism, I was able to ignore it well at different seasons of my ministry.  I have honestly never been in a position in my life, nor can I imagine one, where one is more apt to receive criticism.  I was criticized on nearly a weekly basis for things I said in messages, in prayers, how I responded or didn't respond to situations, you name it.  To be faithful in leadership, one must learn to ignore criticism.   Never is this more true than as a pastor.

And this last one has always tripped me up, although I hope I'm learning in time.  I love to work with my hands, and one reason is because I like to see what I accomplish.  In ministry, that can be a very tough thing.  Results are seldom immediate and are often difficult to see for years and years, if ever.  

I've enjoyed reflecting with y'all.  My prayer is that I, and you, can learn from Jesus and His way of dealing with others to raise up workers and witnesses for and in the Kingdom...

Some Friends, huh?

So tomorrow night I was supposed to have a couple of "friends" over to hang out...you know, play guitar or whatever.  Well one of them says in some baby, whiney voice that he can't come because he owns some business along the Mon river and he has to stay and defend it against flooding.  What?  That's what insurance is for!  You've been wanting new digs anyhow, right?

So then the other "friend" says he has to reschedule because his daughter is going to be recording a song this weekend.  Say what?  Your daughter is young, bro.  She has her whole life ahead of her to record.  But you, you're getting old.  You have to learn that you're first priority here!  But no...he says in some baby, whiney voice "family first."

So, I guess I'll just be hanging out by myself installing our new dishwasher...

Report Card - Part 3

So the next things on the list are:

• Go slowly…
• Spend hours in solitude…

 I think I've done pretty poorly on these two counts throughout the majority of my pastoral "career."  I tend to have a lot of energy and I find it difficult to go slowly.  I get impatient sometimes and move on to the next thing before I've brought something to fruition.  I think I'm finally learning to do this in my new life as a civilian...

As far as solitude, I've always spend my time in solitude.  The problem has been that I've been too active during those times.  By doing so I have at times negated the truth of "being still and knowing He is God."   I love to spend time alone at times, but I'm learning how to be still at the same time so that God can speak His truth, love, and grace to me.  Then He can best speak it through me!

Stay tuned for the next installment soon!

Another Interruption!!!

I'll get back to the grades soon, but I must take a commercial break for a word from our sponsor.  OK, he isn't our sponsor, but he is one of the coolest things in our neighborhood.  He is Tom Friday from Tom Friday's Meat Market in Brighton Heights.  He is an old fashioned butcher with hanging sides of beef and fresh cut stuff right there in front of your eyes.  He wraps it while you watch and has the neato-ist freezer specials.   We can walk there from our house and he offers free deliver to our door.  Now how cool is that?  Life is good!  Check out his site and drop in to get some good meat when you stop to visit us!

Report Card - Part 2

So in part two, we look at the next few items on the list:

• Teach truths that none of your disciples can grasp at the moment…  
• Avoid crowds…

Now I think I have done a fairly good job at challenging the people God has placed within my care to grow.  I love to teach.  I think one of the reasons why I have seen some fruit from my teaching over the years is because I have tried to teach truth at a level that challenges people to grasp truths that require some wrestling!   Whether they're five or seventy-five, I love to see people "get it!"

The next trait of Jesus in His leadership was avoiding crowds.  I think I am getting a little better at this as time progresses.  I have always been one to throw myself into my work and the people I'm with.  While this is fun and exciting and stuff, it can also drain you emotionally and spiritually.  I have, at times, paid a pretty high price for my unwillingness to avoid the crowds sometimes!  Also, when we spend too much time with crowds, we tend to follow them.  I think one of the characteristics of Jesus' ministry that made Him such a leader was His commitment to avoiding crowds.

I'm looking forward to sharing my next "grades" soon!

We Interrupt this Regularly Scheduled Report Card Blog...

On the first day of March, how could I fail to pay tribute to the famous  Weekend Update skit of the first SNL season when John Belushi rants about March coming in like a lion and going out like a lamb...at least that's the way it works in the United States...

I tried to find a video clip but could not, so I'm posting the transcript here.  Enjoy!  (BTW, if you know where I can find this video segment online, by all means let me know!)

Chevy Chase:
Last week we made the comment that March comes in like a lion and goes out
like a lamb. Now here to reply is our chief meteorologist, John Belushi,
with a seasonal report.

John Belushi:
Thank you Chevy. Well, another winter is almost over and March true to form
has come in like a lion, and hopefully will go out like a lamb. At least
that's how March works here in the United States. But did you know that March
behaves differently in other countries? In Norway, for example, March comes
in like a polar bear and goes out like a walrus. Or, take the case of Honduras
where March comes in like a lamb and goes out like a salt marsh harvest mouse.
Let's compare this to the Maldive Islands where March comes in like a
wildebeest and goes out like an ant. A tiny, little ant about this big.
[holds thumb and index fingers a small distance apart]
Unlike the Malay Peninsula where March comes in like a worm-eating fernbird
and goes out like a worm-eating fernbird. In fact, their whole year is
like a worm-eating fernbird. Or consider the Republic of South Africa where
March comes in like a lion and goes out like a different lion. Like one has
a mane, and one doesn't have a mane. Or in certain parts of South America
where March swims in like a sea otter, and then it slithers out like a
giant anaconda. There you can buy land real cheap, you know. And there's a
country where March hops in like a kangaroo, and stays a kangaroo for a while,
and then it becomes a slightly smaller kangaroo. Then, then, then for a
couple of days it's sort of a cross between a, a frilled lizard and a common
house cat.
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Wait wait wait wait. Then it changes back into a smaller kangaroo, and then it
goes out like a, like a wild dingo. Now, now, and it's not Australia! Now,
now, you'd think it would be Australia, but it's not!
[Chevy Chase tries to interrupt him]
Now look, pal! I know a country where March comes in like an emu and goes out
like a tapir. And they don't even know what it means! All right? Now listen,
there are nine different countries, where March comes in like a frog, and goes
out like a golden retriever. But that- that's not the weird part! No, no,
the weird part is, is the frog. The frog- The weird part is-
[has seizure and falls off chair]

Report Card - Part 1

So the first two things on my list are:

• Hang out with the disciples…
• Let them see you at your best and your worst…

I did the most "hanging out" in New Paris.  And what a blast.  The culture there lends itself to very relational ministry.  At the other two places I've been, people are more closed off and don't value "hanging out" the way rural folks do.  I think I did my best hanging out ministry there, and enjoyed it immensely!!!  I wished I would have instituted more of this in my ministry at Concord and Cornerstone...

As far as letting people see me at my best and worst, well, I think I've probably done that...even to a fault!  I've always tried to be myself and just let people deal with me as I am.   There have been times when I've felt like I had to "be on my best behavior" or even become somebody I'm really not.  For those times, I am sorry.  I'm also sorry if my "at worst" has actually been damaging to someone or to their faith.  I am sure that's the case, and I'm thankful for God's amazing grace to cover my booty when I do those things!!!

Stay tuned for more grades to follow!

Jesus' Method of Discipleship!

So as I wind down my ministry as a pastor, and as my TPP kids are receiving their report cards, I've been thinking about grading myself on my last 14 years as a pastor.  I'm using these requisites as a baseline.  Mike Yaconelli summarized Jesus' methods in building followers for him like this.  I think is a great way to measure faithfulness...so over the next few blogs, I'll be pondering these things.  I'll also be asking the Lord to show me how I can live this out in my new ministry going forward.  Thanks for hangin' with me!

Jesus’ Method Of Discipleship

• Hang out with the disciples…
• Let them see you at your best and your worst…
• Teach truths that none of your disciples can grasp at the moment…
• Avoid crowds…
• Go slowly…
• Spend hours in solitude…
• Don’t worry about opposition…
• Ignore criticism…
• Don’t expect immediate results…

Why?

So I just read this book called "What the Dog Saw."  And the chapters explore such pressing questions as:

Why are there all kinds of gourmet mustards and stuff but only one ketchup really seems to dominate the world?

Why do some people just seem to attract dog bites and others seem to just woo an animal into submission?

Why do some people "choke" and some panic and what's the difference?

Why do we sometimes try to manage problems that are really just easier to solve?

I must say, it was a really good read.  What are you reading?  And, if you'll pardon the expression, why?

Ne pas oublier!

Now don't forget!  Blog is short for weblog...a sort of web based diary.  Blague is French for joke.  They are pronounced the same, and it is not by mistake that I call my blog a blague.  In other words, it's Brett's joke!

So please try to remember that in nearly every post, I am inserting some "Brettly" humor!  Enjoy!

How to Solve the Icicle Problem!

So with all this snow there is lots and lots of talk about icicles.  To the left is an actual photo of icicles covering our home. 

Now there are at least a few big problems with icicles.  One is how to spell the word.  I think I finally got that right.

The other problem is death.  Apparently, falling icicles are causing large amounts of death.

So, I have the solution.  I noticed that my unheated garage has no icicles.  Neither does the unheated, uninhabited house across the street.  Aha, I said.  Icicles are caused by our universal enemy: heat.   Therefore, I have turned off our furnace.  Problem solved!  Now I suggest you go and do likewise.

#&*#@$%*!

So yesterday was just one of those days I guess.  It started out OK, but for whatever reason, my nerves were a mess.  I was disappointed in myself for not having better control of my kids at TPP.  Then I walked outside to slip and slide to my car, only to clean it off again...only to not be able to get up the street and had to find an alternative route home.  Then I had to shovel our sidewalks and parking places, again.  Then I was going to try to fix the brand new lamp that arrived yesterday but alas, I broke it worse.  And I guess I just snapped.

The stream of filth from my mouth wasn't pretty.  I felt bad for Carla who was privileged to witness this all.  (She is SO gracious!!!)  But I guess I just had to get it all out.

So last night I didn't sleep very well, mostly because I was regretting the way I lost control.  I was reminded of these verses:

My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, for man's anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.  (James 1:20-21)

Boy amen to that.  And thank God that we have forgiveness!  I'm giving my mouth over to Him today that I might use it to bring glory, honor, and praise...  I'll let you know how that works out for me just as soon as I deal with those kids, and that hill, and the shoveling, and that stupid-piece-of-crap-no-good-cheap-monkey-metal lamp...

Snow Fatique!

So I stopped in the other day to visit an old friend who has a business here in da burgh.  I hadn't been into his store in a while and was really looking forward to seeing him.   But he was in a bad mood.  In fact, everyone in the place was in a bad mood.  In fact, it seemed like on that day, everyone in Pittsburgh was in a bad mood!

It seems like perhaps we are suffering from snow fatigue!  Too much shoveling.  Too many depressing forecasts.  Too much slipping and falling.  Too little sunshine and warmth!

But alas...Spring is but around the corner.  Cheer up my friends, for these days will soon be passed.  And then we can once again begin the season of "hot enough for ya?!"

Ooh, that smell!

So I'm with a group of people the other day at TPP for our staff meeting lunch.  All the sudden someone starts singing "ooh, that smell!"  At first, I checked to make sure that I wasn't having a Grandpa Probert standby sandwich: Limberger Cheese.  No, just ham and white American. 

Then he starts laughing and says that he and his wife woke up to WDVE on the radio and the Skynard song "Ooh, That Smell."  We had a brief conversation (frequently interrupted by him singing another soundbyte of that glorious song) about why you get a song stuck in your head.

The problem is, we never figured out why.  Any ideas?  And why is it usually a song we really don't care for anyhow?  I'd like to thank you, Wayne, for allowing me to have that ridiculous song "Ooh that smell" stuck in my head for like a week now.  If you'll excuse me, I'm going to step out onto my front porch and sing it at the top of my lungs...maybe that'll help.

Life is a Parade...

So Carla and I were sitting here this morning enjoying a cup of hot beverage and doing some online shopping for our new home when there is a knock at the door.  Turns out, it is yet another new neighbor who comes to welcome us to the neighborhood.   (So far, this is shaping up to be the friendliest neighborhood we've ever lived in...)  Turns out it is a man who I'll call Tom (mostly because his name is Tom!) who is 78 and is the son-in-law of our recently deceased next door neighbor.  He was incredibly friendly, and very interesting!  He was a computer installer/programmer since 1959!  As he talked about how computers have changed in the 20 years that he has been retired, he made the statement that life is like a parade...

...he said that when you watch a parade, you really just focus on what is right in front of you.  You might try to glimpse for a moment at what just passed, or try to see what might be immediately next, but for the most part your focus is on the moment. 

Wow.  The wisdom of a man 30 some years my senior.  Lord, give me the strength today to live in the moment....with everything I have.  But let me appreciate Who you have been in the past and Who you will always be...